Secretary: - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you. George B.: - Good, send her in. Secretary: - Yes, sir.
(Hangs up. Condi enters.)
Condoleeza: - Good morning, Mr. President. George B.: - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening? Condoleeza: - Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China. George B.: - Great, Condi. Lay it on me. Condoleeza: - Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China. George B.: - Well, that's what I want to know. Condoleeza: - But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President. George B.: - Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the new leader of China? Condoleeza: - Yes. George B.: - I mean the fellow's name. Condoleeza: - Hu. George B.: - The guy in China. Condoleeza: - Hu. George B.: - The new leader of China. Condoleeza: - Hu. George B.: - The Chinaman! Condoleeza: - Hu is leading China, Mr. President. George B.: - Whaddya' asking me for? Condoleeza: - I'm telling you Hu is leading China. George B.: - Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading China? Condoleeza: - That's the man's name. George B.: - That's who's name? Condoleeza: - Yes.
(Pause.)
George B.: - Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condoleeza: - Yes, sir. George B.: - Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condoleeza: - That's correct. George B.: - Then who is in China? Condoleeza: - Yes, sir. George B.: - Yassir is in China? Condoleeza: - No, sir. George B.: - Then who is? Condoleeza: - Yes, sir. George B.: - Yassir? Condoleeza: - No, sir.
(Pause. Crumples paper)
George B.: - Condi, you're starting to piss me off now, and it's not 'cause you're black neither. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don't you get me the Secretary General of the United Nations on the phone. Condoleeza: - Kofi Annan? George B.: - No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap. Condoleeza: - You want Kofi? George B.: - No. Condoleeza: - You don't want Kofi. George B.: - No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condoleeza: - Yes, sir. George B.: - Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations. Condoleeza: - Kofi? George B.: - Milk! Will you please make that call? Condoleeza: - And call who? George B.: - Well, who is the guy at the U.N? Condoleeza: - No, Hu is the guy in China. George B.: - Will you stay out of China?! Condoleeza: - Yes, sir. George B.: - And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condoleeza: - Kofi. George B.: - All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condoleeza: - Hello. Rice, here. George B.: - Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle East? I don't know.